i think i need to lighten up. lighten up and loosen up. i've got so much to live for! you know how ppl always say life's too short for regrets (and worries and bitterness and malice and pessimism and all things negative)? i'm starting to believe in it myself.


sometimes, when i look at myself, i see someone who got a little lost while trying to find herself.

.................................................

alright. work.

firstly, to make things clear, my company is a german mnc. it started out in the 1800s (i think). then over the centuries it expanded globally and now it provides services such as book-printing, supply-chain, call centre customer service, cd-printing etc for companies. the one where i work at provides call centre services for microsoft xbox. hmm. outsourcing huh...

in other words, we are the "face of microsoft".

it was hard trying to adapt at first. i mean, the first few days were really kind of awful. in a personal way. one particular thought never left my mind: how the hell did i end up here.

insecurities, and more insecurities.

it's worse when i've gotten so used to waking at 8 plus in the mornings, having aftnn naps and ample rest at night. now it's up at 6.45 every morning, and some long days with driving lessons until 10.20. thankfully, after this tues, no more night lessons for me. not regularly anyway.

and so first week of work left me completely drained. not by the demands of work per se. but by the very phenomenon of early mornings and late nights. currently undergoing training. there'll be assessment. ASSESSMENT. dang, can you believe it? i feel like it's school all over again. mock calls, just like mock tests. study product knowledge and customer service skills, just like studying protein synthesis and essay formats. oh man.

once you figure out the ropes though, it seems easy, in fact kinda monotonous. those whom i asked plan to leave for greener pastures once their contracts end. i mean, yeah, who'd want to answer calls for the rest of his life.

my days there, though, are made a little better by simple things like the pantry, which, albeit not a room but merely a counter, has biscuits that i like and green tea, an indispensable beverage in my life. :) plus, three new friends. and oh, lunch hour, always a divine distraction. retail therapy works well too. :B

i guess driving's the only thing that keeps me going these days. i really look fwd to it. it's damn expensive though. like about a month and a half of my pay goes to the financing of driving. argh :/


and lse. DARN! i cant believe it! like, what?!